[ 06 ] [ Text | Commentlog ]

[forthebothofus]

[Across the page comes a feminine but untidy scrawl.]

One question, Deior. Why. What the hell is the point. Save the others, fine, but I don't get why you bothered with me.

[Feelings are not something Abeni's ever been used to. She doesn't know how to handle them, how to react to them, or what to do. Back at home she had a purpose, a drive, something to push her forward and work toward.

In the Keep, she's without that focus point. Zachariah might of been her initial reason for being brought back from the dead, or at least the reason she decided on herself, but as far as she can see, he's doing fine without her. She needs him more than he does her. It's a helplessness Abeni doesn't know what to do with.

Thus she's holed up in the boathouse, a bottle of liquor in her hand as she makes a poor attempt at drinking away her sorrows. If only her alcohol tolerance was even close to what it used to be. It's been a day or two since she's gone anywhere near the stables.

Abeni is hiding, speaking out only because of the alcohol in her system.]

Comments

[helluvachin.livejournal.com]

[Oh no. Oh no no no. He does not like this kind of talk at all. He lost Iriel and he's not gonna lose Abeni too dammit.]

What are you talking about?

[forthebothofus.livejournal.com]

[She laughs a little, but it's more dry than amused.]

It doesn't matter. Not like a thing I say gets heard anyway.

[helluvachin.livejournal.com]

Abeni what's going on?

[forthebothofus.livejournal.com]

[Nope. No reply. At least not yet. There is however the clink of a bottle as she takes another sip of scotch.]

[helluvachin.livejournal.com]

[Oh he doesn't like this at all.]

Please don't ignore me. Where are you?

[forthebothofus.livejournal.com]

Keeping out of the way.

[She's a real pain in the ass when she wants to be.]

[helluvachin.livejournal.com]

Dammit, that's not what I meant and you know it!

[forthebothofus.livejournal.com]

So? Doesn't change the answer.

[She moves to stand, stumbles and thuds into a pile of oars. The sound of the wood rings through loud and clear. It doesn't quite confirm her location, but it'd certainly narrow it down.]

Who put that there!?

[Stupid oars. GET OUT OF THE WAY.]

[helluvachin.livejournal.com]

Fine. Then I'll just find you on my own.

[Can't be too hard with all that commotion she's making.]

[forthebothofus.livejournal.com]

Fine! But you know I'm better at hiding than you.

[When sober, at least.]

[helluvachin.livejournal.com]

Sure, when you're not knocking everything over and shouting all the time.

[forthebothofus.livejournal.com]

[She pauses to glare at the journal.]

Shut up, Zack.

[Abeni seeks out a darker, less cluttered corner to wedge herself into that if he comes her way, she'll be hidden. Shame her balance is off.]

Why don't you go play with all your other friends, hm?

[Petty? Yes.]

[helluvachin.livejournal.com]

[Coming from her, that actually hurt.]

Because I'm coming to make sure you're okay whether you like it or not.

[Not in the carpentry house but he's got another place in mind.]

[forthebothofus.livejournal.com]

[She'll hate herself for the things she's saying tomorrow. Right now though, Abeni's in go mode. The hint of guilt at being mean to him is easily pushed down and out.]

I'm fine. Can we drop it now?

[Abeni finds a corner and sits in it, journal in one hand and liquor in the other. This is her hiding place. This is where she'll wallow and spout her hate for Holloway's Keep.]

[helluvachin.livejournal.com]

No we can't. Not until I know why you're acting like this.

[Eventually he finds his way to the boathouse and starts searching there.]

[forthebothofus.livejournal.com]

You don't--

[Oh shit. He's right there. Abeni shuts up and leans back into her corner a little more. Carefully, quietly, she tries to set the bottle down.

Sadly, the bottle hits an uneven floorboard and makes a bit of a sound in it's decent.]

[helluvachin.livejournal.com]

[It may have been a couple years since he was in Deadworld but the training he got there just doesn't fade away. He hears the noise and his head spins in that direction. No matter how better she is at hiding it's hard to miss her when she's right there.

Zachariah folds his arms and gives her a look.]

Can we talk now?

[forthebothofus.livejournal.com]

[She draws her knees to her chest and glares straight ahead. It's obvious she's upset, and showing it far more than she's ever let anyone, even him, see.]

Nothing to talk about, Zack.

[Her tone has a little less bite to what it did before he arrived.]

[helluvachin.livejournal.com]

[Seeing her like this takes away a lot of his earlier aggravation. Instead he just worries even more.

He takes a few steps towards her and sits.]

I don't buy that for a second and you know it. I've barely see you. You don't even come to the stables anymore.

[forthebothofus.livejournal.com]

And look at that. You're doing just fine without me.

[She looks up when he sits but is quick to avert her gaze elsewhere. Looking him in the eye only makes it worse.]

Face it Zachariah. You don't need me at all.

[helluvachin.livejournal.com]

[Now that stuns him for a moment.]

Are...are you serious?

[Then something inside him just snaps. He lurches forward, grabbing her by the shoulders and turns her to face him.]

You wanna know something? It's been five fucking years since I've seen you and you know what? There wasn't a single fucking moment where I didn't think about you! Every minute of everyday I missed you because the one person who knew me better than anyone else was gone!

[He stares her in the eyes for a moment before looking down at the ground.]

I wanted nothing more than to go back in time and have another shot to save you. Without you I was scared but more than that, I was alone.

[Even with the resistance he felt alone. Sure Fiel and Iriel helped take some of that away by befriending him, but he always felt like an outsider looking in.]

So don't you ever tell me that I don't need you. Don't you ever tell me that.

[He keeps his head pointed down if only so she can't see the tears.]

[forthebothofus.livejournal.com]

[She doesn't speak. She can't speak. The words stick in her through and her mind struggles to form a coherent sentence. It's surprising to hear any of it, more so with the amount of emotion he's put behind what's said.

Head down, Abeni knows he's crying, and that only aids to shock her further. She knew he'd missed her after she died, just never the degree of how much.

Before she knows it, there's tears in her eyes as well.]

I feel like I'm dragging you down.

[She reaches to hold his face with both hands, gentle on his skin. Abeni doesn't make him look up, instead leaving that to him.]

You've got friends, skills. People like you. You're a good guy and it shows.

[The best guy, in her opinion. Her hands drop.]

I need you more than I'd like.

[helluvachin.livejournal.com]

[He looks up at her, confused and no longer caring about the tears.]

Dragging me down? You've done nothing but pick me up. Everything I know I owe to you, and even if I didn't you're still the closest friend I have.

[His arms slip off her shoulders and hang limply at his sides.]

I don't care about any of that. I just don't want to lose you, and I'll fight every last person here to take you home again. All I want is to be with you again.

[This is as open as Zachariah's ever been.]

[forthebothofus.livejournal.com]

[She sits up and moves forward, arms wrapping around his neck to hug him to her like he was vanishing before her eyes. Abeni figures they both need the hug as much as the other.]

I've never told anyone I love them. I'm not good with feelings. I don't know what to do.

[It's still hard to say.]

But you're...

[Something. After everything, Abeni still can't find the words for what she wants to say.]

[helluvachin.livejournal.com]

[Slowly Zachariah puts his arms around her. He wasn't expecting this. Actually he wasn't expecting any of this. All he wanted to do was check on her. Next thing he knew he was bearing his soul to her]

I...

[Wow he really doesn't know what to say. He's not a good speaker even at the best of times.]

You don't have to say anything.

[He's going to keep hugging her though. After losing Iriel and the distance Abeni's been trying to put between them his emotions are running rather high and he could use it.]